精神病人妙語事例

精神病人妙語事例 1 病人A：「怎麼樣？這本書寫得還不 錯吧？」 病人B：「太 好了！真是曠世鉅作。一點廢話都沒有，簡潔有力。不過有一個缺點，就是出場人物太多了！」 謢士 ：「喂！你們兩個 ...... 快把電話薄放回去。」 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 精神病人妙語事例 ２ 有一位精神病院的醫生問患者 ︰ 「如果我把你的一隻耳朵割掉，你會怎麼樣？」患者回答︰「那我會聽不到。」醫生聽了︰ 「嗯，那很正常。如果我再把你另一隻耳朵也割掉，你會怎麼樣？」 患者回答 ︰「那我會看不到。」醫生開始緊張︰「怎麼會看不到呢？」 患者回答 ︰「因為眼鏡會掉下來。」 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 精神病人妙語事例 ３ 神經病院有一位老太太，每天都穿著黑色的衣服，拿著黑色的雨傘， 蹲在神經病院門口。醫生 就想要醫治她，一定要從了解她開始 ..於是，那 位醫生也穿黑色的衣服，拿著黑色的雨傘，和她一起蹲在那邊。 兩人不言不語的蹲了一個月......那位老太太終於開口和醫生說話了： 「請 ..問一下 ! 你...也是香菇嗎?」 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 精神病人妙語事例 ４ 一個精神病院的護士看到一個病人在寫信，非常好奇，想去偷瞄， 可是病人不給她看。 護士忍不住問︰「給誰寫信啊？ 」 病人回答：「寫給我自己啊！」 護士好奇心更盛，心想：「怎會有人寫信給自己呢？！」 於是又問：「寫些什麼啊？」病人說：「你神經病啊！！我還沒收到信，我怎麼會知道！」 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 精神病人妙語事例 ５ 有兩個精神病患者從病院裡逃出來。 兩人逃跑，爬上一棵樹，其中一個人從樹上跳下來，在地上滾來滾去， 然後抬起頭對上面的同伴說︰「喂！你怎麼還不下來啊？」 上面的那個人回答他︰「不 ... 行...啊！我還未熟透。」 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 精神病人妙語事例 ６ 一位病人來找精神科醫生︰「醫生，怎麼辦？我一直覺得我是一隻母雞。」 醫生︰「喔？！那很嚴重呀，怎麼現在才來求醫？」病人︰「因為最近我的家人在等我生蛋啊！」 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 精神病人妙語事例 ７ 一個貨車司機送貨到精神病院，當他卸完貨準備回家時。 忽然發現有一個輪子爆胎了。 於是他將那個爆掉的車胎拿下來，正準備換上備胎時。 一個不小心，將固定車胎的四個螺帽掉到水溝裡了，怎麼撿也撿不到。貨車司機不知如何是好。此時，正好有一個精神病患者經過，就問司機怎麼了？司機想，反正也沒有別的事可做，於是就把事情經過告訴精神病患者。 精神病患 說：「這麼簡單的問題也解決不了，難怪你只能當貨車司機。 你只要把剩下的三個胎各拆一個螺帽下來，裝到第四個車胎上， 然後開到最近的修車廠,補上剩下的 螺帽就可以了。」 貨車司機敬佩之餘，不禁開口問道： 「你這麼聰明，為什麼會住在精神病院？」 精神病患回答：「我住在這裡是因為我有精神病，不是因為笨！」

Have you ever seen Apple tree‏

Good one........Touching Heart‏

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window. The Father asked his Son, "What is this?" The Son replied "It is a crow". After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?" The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow". After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?" At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow". A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?" This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?" A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :- "Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child". While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed. So.. If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today". Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.